A first today for Heretic TOC: a guest blog by a woman. Known to us simply as “A”, she was introduced here recently in New quests sparked by fading old charts as the contributor of several excellent comments on earlier blogs. I gather she is a linguistics specialist. This piece was offered as a comment in response to The only problem is problematisation itself but is the right length for a blog and eminently suitable for one.
Cases in which young children are punished for their sexuality always put me in mind of the Kissing Case of 1958 in North Carolina.
It is clear that the old Victorian ‘high ideal of womanhood’ has been transferred more or less wholesale onto children. Women were then seen as morally better than men, but weak and in need of protection by men, who bravely shoulder the burdens of the world for their sake; children are now seen as morally better than adults, but weak and in need of protection by adults, who bravely shoulder the burdens of the world for their sake. Women were then and children are now seen as pure, innocent, sexless beings in danger from the supposed sexual rapaciousness of men – these days, only a certain subset of men: paedophiles. Women were then seen as essentially the property of men, and children are still seen as the property of their parents.
A good example of this close parallel between the two sets of attitudes is the Sherlock Holmes story The Illustrious Client. The “fiend” Baron Gruner is in sexual pursuit of a “lovely, innocent” young woman, who has fallen for his deceitful charms, though “How a beastman could have laid his vile paws upon such a being of the beyond I cannot imagine.” Gruner is a serial seducer who has arranged murders to prevent his activities from being exposed. He turns out to keep a scrapbook of the young women he has seduced: “I tell you, Mr. Holmes, this man collects women, and takes a pride in his collection, as some men collect moths or butterflies. He had it all in that book. Snapshot photographs, names, details, everything about them. It was a beastly book – a book no man, even if he had come from the gutter, could have put together. But it was Adelbert Gruner’s book all the same. ‘Souls I have ruined.’ He could have put that on the outside if he had been so minded.” Then up turns Kitty Winter, whom he seduced and “ruined”, a young woman “worn with sin and sorrow”. She bitterly hates Gruner, and throws vitriol into his face to ruin his looks. Dr Watson reflects: “I could have wept over the ruin had I not remembered very clearly the vile life which had led up to so hideous a change.” Holmes says, “The wages of sin, Watson – the wages of sin! Sooner or later it will always come. God knows, there was sin enough.”
Change the young woman to a child of either sex and it could be an episode of CSI or Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. It’s all there: the paedophile who is bestial, subhuman, beyond redemption or sympathy, but “devilishly cunning”, who is willing to murder to conceal his crimes, and who keeps a scrapbook of his conquests, of the children whose lives he has ruined. Except on TV the paedophile would likely end up not disfigured but dead, murdered by some vengeful victim or victim’s parent, while the cops, like Holmes and Watson, reflected soberly that he had had it coming. Even the talk about sin and souls is familiar: talk of sin has fallen out of fashion in many circles, but talk of children’s souls being murdered by sexual abuse is still common enough, as is talk of ‘purity’– infringing sex as “a fate worse than death”.
The major difference as far as I can tell is that most men are attracted to women, so even in Victorian England there had to be some women available for them to get their premarital and extramarital jollies with: women who didn’t count, such as prostitutes, music-hall singers, and just plain working-class women in sore need of money who could consequently be persuaded to’ go with’ gentlemen (though, to be fair, I am sure that some genuine love affairs and some mutually happy casual sex did occur even in this generally exploitative context). If you were a middle- or upper-class man, it was OK to pinch your overworked servant girl’s backside, so long as your wife remained the angel in the home. But most men, and an even larger majority of women, are not attracted to children, so there are no children whom it is OK to touch sexually: they are all off-limits.
Major difference two is that, whatever the official ideology may have said, it was women who bore the stigma of sex outside marriage: a woman who fell pregnant this way was often vilified while the man equally responsible for the pregnancy went about his life just as before. Bearing this in mind, it is fascinating to watch the short film Boys Beware, a Strange Man scare piece dating from 1961, which can be seen on Youtube. Pubertal Jimmy has sex with a man – and Jimmy gets into legal trouble too, ending up released on probation! Feminism has changed that. Women and children are the sexual victims of men, so the party line goes, and as victims they are guiltless, unimpeachable, strong in overcoming their abuse; they have no share in the abuser’s sin.
In the American South until, after all, quite recently, the ideology of female purity combined with that of racism to cause many, many murders, including that of fourteen-year-old Emmett Till, who was guilty not of rape nor of anything near it but, at worst – accounts differ – of a bit of mildly obnoxious adolescent sexual braggadocio. Women were sexually pure and they were also the property of men; the races lived separately; black people were inferior to white people. Hence, a black woman was the property of her male relatives, who were also black, which meant that stealing their property by having sex, consensual or otherwise, with her was OK. For a white man to have sex with another white man’s property or a black man to have sex with another black man’s might have produced anger and a punch-up, but it was not likely to end in a lynching. But for a black man to have sex with a white man’s property was completely intolerable. (The women-as-property ideology was and is also a major cause of the bad reaction to women taking up with men socially ‘beneath them’.) Loathing of the idea of black man-white woman sex was mixed up with a morbid fascination which produced tales of black men’s sexual prowess and insatiability and of their large genitals. This too is familiar: in the Sherlock Holmes story we find a mixture of horror and titillation at the idea of “a woman who has to submit to be caressed by bloody hands and lecherous lips”, and these days there is much nonsense about how a paedophile can do incalculable damage if left alone with a child even for a few minutes (wow, superpowers).
Of course, racism was and is not unique to the American South. Paul Scott’s novel The Jewel in the Crown deals with the taboo on sex between Indian men and white women under the British Raj, and the destruction it wreaks on the lives of a white woman and Indian man who love one another.
These days, it is very common for men to announce that they would murder anybody who touched their child or younger sibling sexually, and occasionally the threat is carried out. But our society’s current sexual demon is not easily recognisable. Skin colour is immediately noticeable, and often, so is social class – from accent, clothes, occupation, etc. But paedophiles cannot be spotted on the street, and the consequence is that suspicion is liable to fall on any man spending time around any child. Furthermore, what makes a paedophile a paedophile is something internal, his (or occasionally her) sexual desires, rather than something external. This may account for some of the thought-crime/mind-control aspects of the current witchhunt.
[…] is decidedly a good friend of this blog and she – yes, she – has guest blogged here before: see ‘Protecting’ your property, then and now. […]
Very interesting analysis by “A” and mostly I agree. I do think she is factually in error about how rare attraction to children is, both for men and for women. But even if I am right about this, I don’t think it would challenge her basic idea.
Regarding the “worse than death” idea, I wonder how many boys would rather be killed than patted on their butts? Maybe a survey could be conducted.
I wonder what the need is to have a group of people who are too “pure” to have any sexual feelings. Probably it is “overdetermined” — the result of several factors. Maybe men who are no longer the protectors of a small band in a hunting and gathering society long for the old, old days. Men and women both contribute to this hysteria.
“I wonder what the need is to have a group of people who are too “pure” to have any sexual feelings.” I wonder too. The encouraging thing is that it doesn’t seem to be universal — there have been and are certain societies which, bonobo-style, were or are pretty relaxed about everybody having sex with everybody else. But as for the why…well, there are evo-psych reasons for men policing women’s sexuality: they want to make sure the kid is theirs, or that their bloodline is not corrupted by their daughter or sister having kids with some no-count good-for-nothing. Maybe this is the far-back origin of some other sexual taboos? But how it would produce those other taboos I’m not sure.
Also, about ‘a fate worse than death’, here is Barbara Hewson, the distinguished lawyer who wants the age of consent lowered to thirteen, disagreeing with the idea on Spiked: http://www.spiked-online.com/newsite/article/is_rape_really_a_fate_worse_than_death/13817#.Uid6ij9KzIk
The ‘fate worse than death’ notion has some pretty messed-up origins, probably in the view that a woman or girl’s worth lies in her chastity: a view that condemned, or ignored the possibility of, even wanted premarital sex for women; a view that stemmed from and perpetuated male control of female sexuality; a view that, I argued above, has now been largely transferred onto children.
Commentator ‘John’ writes: “I was sexually assaulted as a child, repeatedly. I’ve come to realise that the negative psychological consequences are primarily a consequence of the internalisation of the idea that I am ‘damaged goods’.” But I encourage everyone to read all the comments: they are all good.
I’m not sure, though, that I agree with Hewson on the ‘victims/survivors’ terminology. ‘Survivor’ is indeed a bit overblown, since most people who are raped are not murdered; but lust-murder does happen and murder to cover up rape does happen, some rapists threaten their victims’ lives to make them stop resisting, and people who are raped tend to be afraid in the basic visceral way that finding yourself prone with a stronger and hostile body on top of yours does make you afraid. They could’ve chosen a better word, perhaps, but the idea behind ‘survivor’ is good: that a person who is raped is not a passive victim, ‘damaged goods’, but a person with agency who cannot be ‘ruined’ by something done to her, or him, against her, or his, will.
Reply to myself — a side-comment: one of the commenters on the Barbara Hewson article says that actual rape is nearly always very easy to detect: in fact it isn’t, because large-scale studies have been done on unreported rape which show, it seems, that most rape is not violent, but done when the person raped is falling-down drunk, or drugged, or otherwise too incapacitated to consent, and this is none the less rape, but it is very difficult to prove.
I find it very strange (and, of course, awful) that so many people refer to CSA (however mild) as ‘a fate worse than death’. Besides the fact that I find it difficult to imagine anything short of torture-killing as being worse than death itself – there’s the fact that it makes no sense given that it contradicts their basic premise: children as ‘innocent’.
After all, if children are perfectly, 110% asexual, ‘pure’ and ‘innocent’ they shouldn’t attach any significance to their ‘privates’. If such a mythical being had their genitals touched, they wouldn’t have any reason to be more distressed that if they had been touched a few inches higher on their stomach. However, they still seem to believe that the first touch is life-shattering while the second is no big deal – in fact, many would be offended by the idea that a child might refuse to be touched non-sexually by a family member and I’ve had to endure more uncomfortable hugs than I can count.
My only guess as to what their actual justification might be is if they believed there were some sort of inherent, objective wrongness attached to sex and sex-organs (read: “sin”). If they think that then maybe I need to sit these parents down and give them The Talk.
Anyway, if people really do believe these two things simultaneously, how do they manage not to be torn apart by the contradiction? I suspect that this, like most religion, requires an unhealthy dose of doublethink. I, on the other hand, strongly reject the concept of ‘innocence’ (the word alone makes me cringe) but I believe that non-consensual physical contact of any kind is bad – though not life-annihilating. Thus, I arrive at a similar conclusion (rape is bad, m’kay?) but I disagree with their premise.
All good, perceptive stuff!
“If you were a middle- or upper-class man, it was OK to pinch your overworked servant girl’s backside, so long as your wife remained the angel in the home. But most men, and an even larger majority of women, are not attracted to children, so there are no children whom it is OK to touch sexually: they are all off-limits.”
What is most interesting is while I mostly agree, society wants too suggest the very opposite with obsession with child prostitution (girls usually in mid to late teens and older) as evidence for a big Paedophile industry.
My view of the OP is that I believe Paedophiles are not considered a subset of adults but a failed adult like the black man who has sex with the white man’s’ property.
It is broad but I believe there are two ideas, the idea of what a child is, and the idea of what a adult is both are alienated from each other and lines can only be crossed by special people (parents, official authority figures etc.), the paedophile represents an unofficial crossing of these ideas, not just sexually but in different forms of relationship.
This could make Paedophilia one of the worst forms prejudice because anyone who is an adult could be accused which has the potential too create the most extreme forms of paranoia.
Of course the other side of the coin is the idea of the child which forces young people too follow a set of rules completely limiting there lives many don’t follow them, and in contradiction some are punished for performing ‘adult only’ behaviour.
Excellent points Dick, thanks.
“lines can only be crossed by special people (parents, official authority figures etc.)” Yes, and those lines seem to be being policed more and more rigidly, as with the fairly recent attempts to run background checks on children’s authors who come in to read at schools, or parents who drive neighbours’ children to school.
“… some are punished for performing ‘adult only’ behaviour.” Yes: it’s no accident that porn films are called ‘adult’ films, even though a lot of them feature ‘barely legal’ eighteen-year-olds. We see in the hysteria over ‘child sex predators’ that sometimes when a child oversteps the lines and does something ‘adult’, like displaying sexual interest and knowledge, concern for the child as a child flies out the window, and the poor kid is treated horribly.
It’s not just sex. I generally get along with adults much better than with people my own age – this has been true since Kindergarten. However, they’ve always been very hard to be around because (often) the moment I disagree with them or point out that something they said was simply false I’d be accused of being disrespectful. It’s almost as if knowledge itself were the sole property of adults.
BTW: I’ve always found the way ‘adult’ is used as a euphemism for ‘sexual’ to be stupid and vaguely offensive.
Have a heart, James, lots of adults would find it hard to keep up with you! I love enthusiasm and talent but there are those who find “precocious” youngsters threatening!
Thank you for the kind words 🙂
I think it has more to do with the status regulation instinct. The root problem is that since children, by default, have lower social status than adults, any signal that the underling is claiming equivalent status is vaguely threatening.
It’s usually better with people who are interacting with me specifically because I’m ‘gifted’. However, even with them there comes a time when they start wondering if the trained monkey thinks it’s a human being. It’s gotten much better as I’ve neared adulthood but it’s still lurking in every interaction.
(Wow. That sounded dark and angsty. Hope that didn’t sound like I was attacking adults en masse. To paraphrase every man to ever read a feminist blog: “Not All Adults Are Like That!” NAAALT looks like something I’ll encounter a lot of if I ever start a Youth Rights blog!)
LOL! My brother was a gifted kid: brilliant mathematician. Me, I never had that problem 🙂
Interesting. I hope he didn’t fizzle out the way most child-prodigies do. What’s he up to now?
Sadly, that’s another thing I can’t say much about. He’d kill me if he knew I’d so much as mentioned him — or rather his wife would. I don’t think it will hurt, though, to say he had a glittering career by most people’s standards but in his own eyes it fell well short of his early promise.
“He’d kill me …. or rather his wife would”
I take it she’s not too fond of her brother-in-law, the thought criminal. Or is there some other reason?
“a glittering career by most people’s standards but in his own eyes it fell well short of his early promise”
Sounds like most college professors I know.
Correct!