Truth will not survive the survivors

 
Distractions of a pressing nature unfortunately prevent me from focusing on the new blog that heretics will be expecting round about now. So forgive me if I confine myself to noting some topical items that ought not to go unmentioned, albeit without much original analysis.
Most obviously, the Goddard inquiry has stirred into some sort of life again after twice being almost strangled at birth by the very “victims” who are most insistent on the importance of its success.
It may be recalled that the so-called Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse (it will be “independent” of any heretical input, we may be sure) in the UK, is now headed by Justice Lowell Goddard, a member of the judiciary of New Zealand, after false starts under other leadership deemed by the victim lobby to be too close to the British Establishment. ­­
Goddard, appointed chair of the inquiry in 2014, announced what the “first 12 investigations” of the inquiry would focus on. First 12! Each one of these tasks, taking in alleged abuse across a broad swath of institutions including churches, children’s homes, schools, hospitals, and the as yet elusive VIP “abuse linked to Westminster”, could take decades. By the time this lot has been finished and they are into the next batch (the next 12?!) many of the complainants, and perhaps all of the alleged “abusers”, will be long gone.
Also elusive is what it is meant to achieve, given that the law has become ever more restrictive, its enforcement ever more vigilant and intrusive, and the penalties for transgression ever more draconian.
Luke Gittos, writing in Spiked, where he is the law editor, wrote an excellent piece on this, “The Goddard inquiry: therapy, not justice”. Far from making children safer, he noted, the inquiry would merely stoke up paranoia and further corrode the relationship between adults and young people.
On one point I slightly disagree with his emphasis. He takes the government to task for plans to teach children “as young as 11” about sexual consent. There is of course nothing wrong with teaching children about consent, at this age and considerably younger. But as Gittos knows perfectly well, the government would be thinking only about how to deter kids from sexual encounters, by dinning into them that they cannot consent, and that sex is only for adults. In any case, the NSPCC is already running rampant in schools across the country peddling their abusive propaganda, poisoning young minds with the overwhelming message that sexual encounters are necessarily dangerous and doomed to end in tears.
Bringing his lawyerly view to bear, Gittos notes:

Where previous inquiries at least helped to establish the facts of particular cases for the purpose of making recommendations, truth has been the first casualty of the Goddard Inquiry. As part of the so-called Truth Project, complainants will give evidence in private, many avoiding the process of cross-examination altogether. What’s more, those giving evidence to the inquiry, who claim to be the victims of abuse, will not be referred to as complainants, or witnesses, but as “survivors”. The truth of their testimony, it seems, will be assumed. These individuals held enormous sway over the inquiry’s chairperson selection process, with two previous chairs rejected because of survivors’ concerns about bias. This inquiry is not about getting at the truth – it’s about lending official recognition to people’s experiences and providing them with emotional closure.

 
The panic-mongers have been busy on the survey front lately, too, with the BBC giving a new twist to the old “tip of the iceberg” cliché as a metaphor for the scale of “child sexual abuse” (CSA). A report by the BBC’s social affairs correspondent Alison Holt on research by the Children’s Commissioner for England was headed “Child sexual abuse – How big is the ‘iceberg’?”.
The big theme here was that the tip of the iceberg – cases of CSA that are visible because they have come to the attention of the authorities – amounts to only one eighth of the ice. So in the case of seven children out of eight, the CSA remains hidden below the waterline.
Bearing in mind that this “research” for the Children’s Commissioner (CC) may well have been designed to manufacture exaggerated results – like the NSPCC, the Commissioner’s office knows that hyperbole will raise its public profile  – I believe we are entitled to be sceptical. The BBC report says there were extensive interviews of “survivors”, but there is no explanation of how the scale of unreported abuse was determined.
For the moment, though, let’s take the claim at face value. The media and the lobby groups throw up their hands in horror, natch. Appalling! Scandalous!
But what we can guarantee about the CC report (as per above I haven’t had the opportunity to check it out in detail) is that it makes no distinction between real abuse (forced or coerced) and willing participants in “abuse”.  In other words, the huge underwater bulk of the iceberg may well contain a high proportion of children, and now grown-up former “victims”, who are not visible to the authorities for a very good reason: they do not want to be.
Yes, some will stay silent out of shame or fear, which is the usual mantra. But there would be a lot less of either if youngsters were encouraged to speak openly about the full range of their experiences. It is important to air real abuses, but positive stories should also be heard, without anyone having to worry about being labelled against their wishes as victims. In a truly open society, with real children’s rights, it would be so much easier to distinguish abuse from “abuse”, and to act accordingly.
 
R.I.P. MARK BEHR (1963 – 2015)
Mark Behr, who died recently at only 52 years of age, is best known to Kind readers as the author of Embrace, a novel set in a real, named, residential boys’ choir school in South Africa – no doubt much to the embarrassment of its hierarchy for its depiction of a thoroughly brutal institutional ethos, albeit one in which mutually desired and intensely passionate illicit sex found its clandestine place.­­
Appropriately enough, I was introduced to this novel by a fellow inmate while incarcerated in HMP Wandsworth, another tough place where the residents are detained regardless of  their wishes, albeit nothing like as vicious as Behr’s choir school! Embrace is beyond question a masterpiece, not just as a work of great Kind (or deeply unkind) interest but also as Literature with a capital L. Superbly written, Behr’s evocation of its remote Drakensberg setting is mesmerising.
Behr reportedly died of a heart attack. Born in Tanzania in 1963, and grew up in South Africa. His first published novel, The Smell of Apples (1995), brought him fame and literary prizes.
Embrace (2000), his second novel, was shortlisted for the Sunday Times Fiction Prize.  I suppose it is theoretically possible that the winner (I have no idea who won) could have been more deserving of the honour. My suspicion, though, is that the book’s extremely controversial nature was the deciding factor against it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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mr pedo-man

Your link to growing up sexually isn’t working Tom!…Just looking through there’s many examples of early child sexuality akin to LSM’s….Just goes to show, If left to it, kids will acquire the skills for sex naturally; And much earlier than those in the west: Though it seems they had the advantage of not having their early sexuality shoehorned out of them. Just wondered, Was it Kinsey who did the first neutral study on incest, Just interested cos its an area of paedophilia that gets avoided, Because of the family power structures, In The Radical case I think Tom you just covered overlapping ages of consent with peers and non family members?
Growing up sexually:http://www.sexarchive.info/GESUND/ARCHIV/GUS/GUS_MAIN_INDEX.HTM

mr pedo-man

Thanks…I shall look forward to it…..I was referring to the links in your Blogroll, I click onto growing up sexually and get this: Error 404 – Page not found – Seite leider nicht gefunden

mr pedo-man

“(ritual oral rape, as it would now be seen, of all six-year-old boys among the Sambia, for instance)”…..Yes but I find the thought of having a stick inserted up my nose with heavy bleeding of more concern; I have read many comments regarding this as abuse, Do they intend to go there and ‘save’ them they would have to teach the ‘wrongness’ of oral sex with men through the narrative of abuse, After, of course, showing them why ingesting male sperm won’t make them stronger!
Good point about the pre-WEIRD societies having sexual practices being temperate in some cases, But it seems in other cases mentioned by the observers, that some were left to it without sanction; Others would sleep with or near their parents, and observe sexual acts between them.

A.

On the subject of CL novels by recently-deceased authors, I highly recommend Gabriel García Márquez’s last book, Memorias de mis putas tristes (Memories of My Melancholy Whores). It’s a bit like a cross between Death in Venice and Lolita.
Stuck at a relative’s with nothing to read but biographies of sports personalities, I plumped for Greg Louganis (Breaking the Surface, cowritten with Eric Marcus). It was a serendipitous choice. The thing is overflowing with child sex. At the age of seven or eight, Louganis became aware that he was attracted to men. He loved to be thrown around by one of his older cousins in particular. By that age, too, he was already being called sissy and faggot at school, but he didn’t know what the names meant and assumed everyone had the same feelings he did. When he was twelve, Louganis had a close female friend, also twelve, with whom he one day stumbled across a book called 101 Positions for Sex. She suggested they try them, and they got through about ninety before losing interest. Louganis explains that though at twelve he was not yet able to ejaculate, he was certainly able to have PIV sex. The pair kept up the sex after school for about two years. “To us, sex wasn’t really a big deal. I don’t think we ever thought of it as lovemaking, though we were wonderful friends. It was like playing duck-duck-goose. it was physical activity, so it was fun, and it had a certain danger, because we knew we weren’t supposed to be doing it. This was for grown-ups. … Later, when the heterosexual boys at school began talking about doing it, I came to realise that I was probably the first one to begin…” It seems the friends may still be in touch: “She’d kill me if I used her real name.”
At fourteen and fifteen, Louganis fooled around with other boys on sleepovers a few times. It was mostly just “wrestling and rolling around with our clothes off”, and most of those boys are now husbands and fathers, but with one boy, who was apparently gay, it went quite a bit further. At sixteen, Louganis had an intense crush on a slightly older youth. Shortly afterwards, he met a man in his late thirties at the swimming pool, felt attracted to him and agreed to accompany him to his house, though feeling a bit worried that the guy might turn out to be a murderer and prudently taking his own car. They talked for a while, then had sex, and repeated the experience about a dozen times over the next six months until the man, who’d been in trouble before for picking up boys under eighteen, put a stop to things. “I had been a more than willing participant, but the difference in our ages somehow made the experience even more shameful. … I felt stupid telling him what I was doing at school, and I couldn’t introduce him to any of my classmates. I hated the separateness and the secrecy, but I kept going back for the affection, the holding, the cuddling — more those than the sex. I was starved for affection, and he was happy to give it to me.” Louganis adds that many gay men and lesbians will tell you that they had consensual sex with older men or women when they were teenagers. He’d have preferred, he says, to date someone his own age, but there was nowhere he could go to meet such a person. “That said, I don’t regret the affection I exchanged with this man.” And as a young adult Louganis was raped at knifepoint by his somewhat older boyfriend, so he knows from sexual abuse.
Both books have been made into movies and both movies are on YouTube, though I can’t say I’m busting to watch either as I suspect neither is much good. Naturally the movie of Breaking the Surface, which was made for TV, will have omitted all the underage sexual hijinks.
Anyway, merry Christmas to all!

A.

Yes, it was a lucky find! I wonder whether the feelings of gay twelve-year-old Louganis about having sex with a female friend aren’t quite similar to those of a straight twelve-year-old boy having sex with a man: fun, daring, part of a great friendship and that’s that. I have noticed that memoirs by gay men can be remarkably frank about child sexual activity: for instance, Rigoberto González writes in Butterfly Boy: Memoirs of a Chicano Mariposa that he was having full PIV with the little girl next door when they were both about eight! And González too was in an abusive relationship as a young man, so can be expected to know what’s what when it comes to abuse.
Anyway, here’s this guy Louganis walking around apparently unscathed by his early sexual experiences. He had sex at twelve and he didn’t spontaneously combust. That alone can be a powerful kind of witness.

leonard sisyphus mann

I recently read Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “One Hundred Years of Solitude” and there’s a hell of a lot of child-adult love and sex in it, maybe not always conducted to the best ethical standards.
It made me wonder whether Marquez was writing in a more tolerant ethos and whether he (or his writing) didn’t come under a certain influence from indigenous Colombian cultures which seem to acknowledge child sexuality in their beliefs and traditions.
From the Growing Up Sexually Archive:
“Girls undergo digital defloration at the age of eight, I was told. An old man of the sib who is no longer virile is charged with this task. He is said to stretch the young girl’s vagina until he can insert three fingers. He then announces, “You are a woman”. The Cubeo say that if a girl should reach her first menstruation with her hymen intact coitus will ever after be painful for her and she will have difficulties during parturition. Digital defloration is a secret act; officially, the Cubeo credit the moon with the act. The moon copulates at night with a young girl and brings on her first menstruation. Thus, a prepubescent girl is referred to as paúnwe bebíko (one who has not yet copulated with the moon)”
http://www.sexarchive.info/GESUND/ARCHIV/GUS/CUBEO.HTM
“[…] coitus was thought to be required by all just pre-pubescent children to promote physical growth. Young boys were told by their older age-group, “you better catch a woman pretty soon or you won’t grow”. It was also believed that defloration was necessary to bring on the first menses in girls”.
http://www.sexarchive.info/GESUND/ARCHIV/GUS/ALKATCHO.HTM
“[…] the precocity of the children, especially of the female sex, is remarkable. It surprises us to see how individuals who on the outside still look like children are subjected to the rite of the puberty initiation […]. How much they appear to know is an even greater surprise. Children still quite young know perfectly all the mystery of life, like any adult. The girls enter the mission schools at seven or eight years of age, and at this age they not infrequently reveal full knowledge of this subject. Sometimes the thought that already absorbs and preoccupies them is that of marriage, a Missionary Sister Superior revealed to us. They talk of that often, and perhaps they might already even know whom they are going to marry, according to the customs of the tribe and the desires of the parents”.
http://www.sexarchive.info/GESUND/ARCHIV/GUS/TUKANO.HTM
“Children of about five or six are frequently subjected to sexual advances by adults, so there seems to have been an exceptionally high incidence of paedophilia”.
http://www.sexarchive.info/GESUND/ARCHIV/GUS/KAGABA.HTM

Aethenic

Damn those missionaries in South America- they made the Yanomamo ashamed of their own sexuality.
Damn all missionaries throughout this world!

A.

I’ve read Chronicles of a Death Foretold but not that one. I must get to it. 1967 and a country full of machismo would likely have been a time and place more tolerant of adult-child sex in both good and bad manifestations. As for the specific influence of indigenous Colombian culture, I don’t know enough about Colombia to say. It would naturally depend on a lot of things, including the history and current state of relationships between indigenous people and criollos. Anyway, very interesting quotes!
Also from Colombia: in 1994 the gay Colombian writer Fernando Vallejo published an apparently semi-autobiographical novel called La Virgen de los sicarios (Our Lady of the Assassins) set during the drug cartel wars in Medellín and dealing with a love affair between a distinguished middle-aged male writer and a youth of sixteen or seventeen who’s a gang member, sex worker and contract killer. It’s now considered a bit of a classic and was made into a film by Barbet Schroeder.

mr pedo-man

Just come across this…link below..remember watching the Wright Stuff, When they had a discussion about a ten year old who still shared his bath with his mother; Then the reverse was brought up, What about a dad in bath with his ten year old daughter: A swift reply, Oh no, Don’t think that’s appropriate,the double standards are staggering, Though in this article his daughter is about two years old, and he had the majority of support: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/comedian-slams-paedophilia-critics-after-7023309

A.

There is an interesting MetaFilter thread from 2013 entitled ‘How much touch is appropriate between father and 6/7 year old daughter?’ (Run a search and it’ll come right up.) Answers are very mixed but, somewhat reassuringly, many respondents say that the cuddling described is just fine. One woman replies, “I’d be devastated if my husband limited his touch of our daughter (age 9) the ways your wife is asking you to limit yours.” Interestingly, another woman says, “You know what made me slow way down on physical contact with BOTH parents? When I started masturbating at the age of nine. Like a lot of normal, healthy kids do.”

A.

Oh gosh, Mark Behr died? So young? How sad. I loved Embrace. (The choir school is called the Berg in the book, but that’s the thinnest of disguises: it is obviously based on the Drakensberg Boys’ Choir School, a boarding establishment for boys 9-15, which Behr attended when he was 10-12. They’re a cracking choir.) The Smell of Apples is also excellent, and deals in part with the repeated rape of an 11-year-old boy by a much older man, so critics can’t say Behr didn’t deal with the bad of intergenerational sex along with the good! I have a copy of his third novel, Kings of the Water, but haven’t gotten around to reading it yet. Must do so.
Behr was bilingual, writing both in English and in Afrikaans. As a young man he fought as a conscript in the Angolan War of Independence and spied voluntarily for the South African government. He then came to see that the cause he was supporting was unjust and went into international peace studies. Seems like a fascinating person. RIP.
I’ve discussed this study before: http://unh.edu/ccrc/pdf/jvq/CV71.pdf Here is what is therein proposed for the ‘education’ of young teens who have consensual sex with adults they meet online: Tell them that their adult friends are committing crimes for which they can be imprisoned, and that if the relationship is discovered, “publicity, life disruption and embarrassment” are likely to result. Just whose fault is that then? Tell them that “such romances end quickly”. Most early-teen relationships do, whether they’re with a coeval or not. “They need to be told bluntly that any sexual pictures they pose for may end up on the Internet…” OK, agreed. Tell them that adults in these relationships often have other partners. OK, maybe, if it turns out in a particular situation that the younger party is being lied to and is headed for heartbreak. “They may benefit from understanding the manipulations that adult offenders engage in, and from understanding that adults who care about their well-being would not propose sexual relationships…” There’s the brain-washing.
Hope your distractions of a pressing nature go OK.

YoungBL

> “.But there would be a lot less of either if youngsters were encouraged to speak openly about the full range of their experiences. It is important to air real abuses, but positive stories should also be heard, without anyone having to worry about being labelled against their wishes as victims”
This is so true. Sometimes I wonder, why is it so hard to understand that? It seems that they want to believe that all children are raped, abused, used like a toy by unscrupulous people. This got so strong that some of us felt the necessity of being called Boylover since being a pedophile is as if one was a rapist.
This is really the way, to encourage the “abused” children to speak out. However, how to make them speak? Where are they? Who are they? Why would they get so strongly exposed “just” to help pedophiles shatter the stigma (along with other things)? They could’ve loved an adult very much but I highly doubt that they would speak out for the whole class. Media is cruel and as the time goes on it gets even more cruel than it used to. Lastly, they would probably be taken as a “in-the-closet” pedophile and feel it how it is to be a BL even not being one! There are many arguments that would make them step back on speaking out. Still, I believe this is one of the few ways. Unfortunately, kids are voiceless, even the ones that could speak perfectly.

Linca

Went to the University Library this afternoon to take a look at “Embrace”. Ordered a copy of my own. Looking forward to getting to know Karl, his best friend Dominic and his choirmaster, Jacques Cilliers. Thanx for the recommendations and RIP Mark Behr who died way too soon.
Anybody here watch the DVD of “Gerontophilia” about young men who like old men? They are out there.

A.

Have been meaning to watch it. Robin Sharpe, who also died recently, wrote that during his trial he was contacted by some gerontophile young men who told him he turned them on.

Lukas

Continuation of Mark Behr: There are two memorials on YouTube: 1. His family and friends made in South Africa 4 hours long: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0bq7frg1nU&feature=youtu.be&a and 2. an hour long of his colleagues at Rhodes College Memphis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioG0ItHXj5Q
I believe it was his dean who said his 11-year-old son really loved Mark that Mark had taught him a dirty song. These memorials will add to your understanding of where Mark was coming from, help you really appreciate him. A great queer uncle for any boy.
Lukas

otto

… ‘independent of any heretical input’!! teehee! Another excellent piece, Tom – I can’t see why (apart from the use of the highly ’80’s’ word ‘natch’!) that couldn’t run in any serious newspaper. Re Mark Behr, I read his first book when it came out and very much enjoyed it. ‘Embrace’ slipped under the radar – something I will rectify forthwith.

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